my doa~

monday,28/2/2011~

i ended up lying on the bed for almost 12hours straight,with a very bad headache and plus,chest pain which i have to endure up until now,hu~seriously,feeling suffocate is extremely terrible~(T__T)

with a big news coming from my lil sis just now,saying that my mum got ketumbuhan inside her neck made things even worse for me~all i can do is praying hard so that it isn't something serious and no such thing like ketumbuhan,isk~being thousands miles away from her with this kinda news is terrifying..am extremely scared~(T___T)~

frankly speaking,i've tried hard to focus on the letters which are beautifully organized all over the propedeuitic's giant text book but ended up with a big ZERO inside my very small brain,and yes,at this rate,not being able to concentrate is a huge mesS for a 3rd year medic-student like me(T___T)~

too many things going through my mind right now,and i can't even find a way to express how i feel..

but anyhow, here it goes,the only wish,the only doa that i have in my heart right now:

to You,the only One who i put all my hopes and faith in,may You bless my mom's life with the best of health~

cause she's the one i love the most in this whole life,and may all the pain that she's having right now fade away~doaku,moge Tuhan pelihara kedua orang tuaku~ameen~

Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,

Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,

Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,

But only one mother the wide world over.

~George Cooper

kura2 jalan lambat~=_="

let's make this quick:

busy,mgantok,otak kne penyakit lembab~

*alhamdulillah,mak gettin better,seriously worried~huhuhu~

terkejar2 with everything and malam susah nak masuk bile stadi,huk~need to refresh my biological clock ASAP or else ketinggalan jauh k belakang,huk~do ur best,and remember that the best thing is He's always there for you~

:)

wassalam~

:)

memalukan.

.it's the last word i wish to hear out of your mouth,but unfortunately,i had it just now~

sedar kekurangan diri~tenkyu ingatkan sll~

alert!

A BIG REMINDER FOR ME!

typical me who never fail to complaints about soo many things while i'm too lucky to have all the blessings around me at this rate~just wanna share sumthing that happened to me today~i was touched,again~huhu~

on my way back,i saw a young man,who kneel down the stairs to get himself into the metro station~he asked for no help,and he still managed to curve a smile at me who was subconsciously stopped,and amazed with his willpower..and few hours before that,i met 2 young men,working at mcd and both of them are deaf and bisu,hu~malu ngan diri sendiri,sangat tak bersyukur ngn kaki yang ade,mulut yang xreti nk stop bercakap~

orang cakap~the secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are busy adding up their problems~
the decision is in your hands,of course~

current updates about me,myself and I,hehe,poyo~:

1. perfectly healthy,alhamdulillah

2.trying to cope with too many difficult subjects especially topan,pray for me ye!;)

3.adjusting well with being a lone-ranger,well,i'm really grateful for having great foreigners as my housemates!they've been treating me so well like their own sister~syukur!:))and of course,missing my ex,rumie,radhi!rindu nak solat jemaah with you~;(

4.for having someone,who always there for me,wlaupun it will take his tym lepak2,rehat at home for the sake to teman me,tenkyuuu sgt,i should ask for no more~:)*but still,nak mafla belang2 wrane warni boley x?hahaha!:p

5.on DIET!yes i am!huhuhuhu~seriously,sgt menyeksekan untuk org yang cintakan nasik dan makan minimum 2 pinggan nasik per day~huhuhuk~sekarang,dah mkn sekali dlm 3 hari,dan minggu ke-2,still baek2 aje,walaupon tiap kali makan nsik rse nk menangis,rinduuu~

akhir kate,bak kate radhi syg:

lakarkan senyuman agar hati anda pun tersenyum~:)

love,

me.

pic worth a thousand words~

out of these 3 lovely pics,i prefer the last one the most.obviously,wrinkles no longer a big deal,being fat is nothing.only two hearts that love each other for who they are,that really matters~

i've seen a lot of them here,in moscow,and i believe in the existence of that kind of bond with all my heart~

:)

have a good night everyone,salam~

beauty is everything~

i cried today.alone on the train and i did not realized the warmth of the tears running down my face until an old lady,patted on my back,gave me a tissue,with some gestures of "do wipe the tears away young lady" and simply smiled just right after that.it was really warm..huhu..and plus,surprised by a big red-spot of blood on my sock when i was washing them because i didn't even feel any pain on the back of foot all the way back home~i'm lost at the moment,really~

not to forget,regardless the fact that i am ugly on the outside,being told that i am ugly on the inside by a man made me such a jerk,hu~i failed badly as a woman,mintak maaf mak,ayah~for not being a good anak perempuan of yours,seriously,kecewe ngn dri sendiri,malu~

sincerely from the very bottom of my heart,really am sorry for being such an eyesore to anyone around  me,i will do my best to behave properly,maaf~

i know it's not right to have all these wishes,but somehow,i wish i can have all of them~hu~

you dont know anything~

packed schedule makes me forget the fact that i'm becoming a successful lone-ranger..but fyi,it doesn't mean i'm a heartless person,who is willing to accept all the yells thrown on my face.noticing the fact that i'm such a jerk,will try to be better~ and plus,i should stay quiet,and this time will be for real,trying really hard here,forcing back all the tears and fear each time i step my feet on the metro's floor,alone,God help me please,i need the strength,ameen~:"(

..quickie..

just the way i am,right now

someone else's heart ~

extreme weather gives me throbbing headache and not to forget,topan....=_="

felt so down and stupid for not understanding any word coming out of the teacher's mouth~

hu~

clueless for the time being,hopefully i can catch up with everything as soon as possible.hu.

life is completely not easy for this time.

happy especially with you around but serabut amt,doakn everything will be okay pliz ye?

love,

me

quick post from moscow~

the blog is under renovation for the time being~

:)

ku senyum ke telinga~:)

(^^,)

i'm smiling today because of these:

1. saw a pic of kak emy and daus happily married,super cute! :)

2. seeing photos of kak sikin n rafeeq's new princess,super duper sweet~!! :))

3. having super great family around,feeling so blessed~alhamdulillah~:"))

4.going back to moscow and meet someone~bogoshipo lah!:D

the summary is, had a great,happy day,am so grateful!~

:)

bye kajang,hi moscow~:)

dah lame meninggalkan blog kusam ni,hahahaha,saje mempercantikkan rope sedikit and nak tgok something new smbil mhabeskan waktu terluang tatkale dok lepak2 abes nanges dok tgok cite korea my pitiful sister*cite fevret mak,sob2,sdey gilo,sob2~:"(~ok,intro panjang,satu nafas,semput~haha!

sedar xsedar,den dh nak balik moscow besok,huhuhuk,td dok goreng2 ikan bilispedas*act mak y gorengkan,tbe2 rase sayu pule mengenangkan kehidupan yang bakal diharungi d bumi moscow yang kdg2 indah itu~huhuhuk,rasenye sem ni goin to be tough in many ways,huk~tapi ppepon,tgh dok cube positif habes2an ni ha,walaupun mcm kelam j 2nd sem ni,hohoho~

mak pesan,sume2 yang jadi ade hikmah,mak tau nabilah goin to be better with all those changes,i believe in you!~ceh,ayat last tambah2 snanye,walopon mak xsebut,nmpak la lam mate,cewoh,dramatik punye feelin,haha!6 days of classes and saturday till 4pm sounds a disaster,for me la,hoho,but nvm,dh bese 6 sem ade kelas sabtu,nak buat lagu mane,pasrah jola~

den harap,den doa,moge den kuat2 kat sane,lembek dr dulu dah tibe mase den jadik SUPERWOMAN neh~hehehehe,nak increase confident level,nak stady bet0l2,nak kurangkan tdoq macam baby gemok,besar 58kilo,hahahahahahahahahha!~ok,and nak kurangkan makan nasik tercinta yang ku xdapat bayangkan gimana hidupku tanpa kamu,namun,penghalang antara cinta kite,iaitu si lemak berlayer memakse hubungan kite untuk terhenti seketika,eh eh,xterhenti,mati den nanti,cume nasik,kite kene kurang rapat sikit eh,jangan risau,you are my sweetheart forever and ever gitu!heee,sayang nasik!:*

akhir kate dari bumi kajang,malaysia tercinte,berat hatiku untuk pergi,namun moscow dh dok panggil2 bersame okhlobistin tersayang,jadi,adios,moge kite ketemu lagi di bumi hangat 365hari ini~syg semua,mak ayah,adik2,abg~tok,tokki dan sekelian2~doakan daku disane~:)
wassalam~:)

new sem,new me?

'Year of blood and tears' promised by most wanted Chechen terrorist.

nice welcoming news i guess since i am going back there this saturday~for the fact that the new semester is going to be quite different in many ways; being an absolute lone ranger with the new,hectic schedules and bla bla,i am praying hard for strength to overcome all of these~need to master the skills of handling things alone no matter what,because at this rate,all i have is my own self,and dear myself yang sangat fragile inside and out,,yosh! u can do this for sure!~

aiming for a better sem,and of course,this boring site will be my bestie for the upcoming months.i will talk less,wont mess up with others;and be a katak dbwh tempurung.that's for everyone's good,yosh! not hoping for a happy life there of course,i'll try my best to study hard,and try my very best to be a good doc.so,with more tym in my room alone+piles of books as my companion=i'll be an ulat for sure~:I

and am starting to have proper plans for future,one of them is SIMPAN DUIT!~hehehe~will go to asb asap and have an account,hee!:D~ hidup berjimat cermat,and sile kurangkan shopping and makan because you are keeping to0 much fats under your layers of skin and of course, you need to go on diet ASAP si bulat,gemok!huhuhuhuk!

terlalu bulat,kan?:p

anway,i had really great weeks here since i cant barely find the memory of the last moment,me,having this big smile on my face~huhuk~may everything will turn out well,and praying hard for our safety back there~He knows it all,for certain.have faith,fix your intention,niat kerana Illahi~insyaAllah,He's always with us~ameen~:) 

perfectly fine!

few words to describe the whole week are:

gemok,makan banyak,gembira!

:)

p/s:everyone is telling me about fat i am from before~haih~picture is an absolute proof,i'll show you more of them when i get back to kajang later,broadband is killing me btw,haih~if the weather is perfect petang nanti,we'll be heading to the beach,pantai batu buruk,it has been ages since my last time went there~hope everything will turn out great and everyone's mood is fine!~:D

nilai anda adalah seperti SAMPAH!

frankly speaking,the feeling is fading away

useless me,better be me and myself,all alone,back to way things were used to be,a very looong time ago.


*dengki org len dpt jd spesel,slh sendiri,damn useless.worthless mcm sampah!~
bodoh aku~

*sory,emo lg,abaikn this stupid blog.

you and me~

i have been sleeping with these songs for one month already:

1.firework,boyce avenue

2.teenage dream,boyce avenue

3.pieces dont fit anymore,james morrison

4.goodbye my lover,james blunt

5.you're beautiful,james blunt

6.gravity,sara bareilles

7.carry you home,james blunt

8.you make it real,james morrison

mostly from the same singers,same genre,lovin them by heart!
love.love.love
:)

emo.again?who cares?

nothing will change,a simple,stupid sorry is completely nothing at ALL.seriously,taking everything into the account,i'll say things won't go even further,trust is just a word,believe is just a form of 7letters which you might get when u mix them up together.the broken pieces are way tooo small,that u can't even break any of them into any tiny little piece anymore.swearing that you won't take things for granted was a complete huge lie.if you can't appreciate small little things,please go ahead and live your own life,those stupid thingy meant a lot to me,and will always be.

*sakit hati.kecik hati.i hate the stupid date to death,if there's a liquid paper which may erase everything out of my memory regarding that particular date,i'll buy it asap!~hu~sorry,emo,just need to share,u can click the X button at the top,right corner of the screen,thanx~

!

stupid me.bodoh.sumpah,last,and never ever!

lupakan~

tarikh dan angka...

sekecil mana pun mereka buat engkau,meski remeh kau pandang nombor-nombor itu,

tetap sangat berharga buat aku.

tarikh rasmi ?aku tak perlukan lagi,hilang nafsu disitu,lupakan saja,campak ke laut saja kata-kata dulu.

jaga diri,moga bahagia..

salam

dear beyh~:)

dear mohd nadzuan yahaya, u're turning 22 today!heehee!

and here i send to you warm wishes,that your happiness will be as wonderful as the happiness you have always given me,may the sun shine warm upon your face,may your smiles never fade away...moga Allah sentiasa memberkati tiap saat dalam hidup beyh,org doakan beyh sll bjaye dalam semua yang beyh impikan~

and last but not least,thanks so much for everything and not to forget,28th january,we're goin to be officially a year kn,hehe,hope everything will turn out great for upcoming years and years...

:)

wish you a warm happy birthday with lots of love,

org~:)