home-micheal buble

To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.  ~Barbara Bush

(T__T)

"I've been thinking hard lately and I think I might have to break up with my fiancee. She's only 25, but she seems to be hospitalized about twice a year with some kind of dangerous infection.

I love her, but I'm scared of the idea that our future kids won't even get a childhood because she'll be in and out of the hospital all the time. If her health is declining now, how will she be at 40?

I feel like a bastard for thinking of abandoning her. In a world full of backstabbers and thieves, it's rare to find someone as genuinely honest and kind as her, not to mention our personalities are such a great match. 

I guess "soulmate" is the word.

But I don't want to spend my life taking care of someone medically."

 Mr X

What will you do when you love this person from the bottom of your heart and you come to know that he/she is suffering from a life threatening disease and will not survive longer. He/she will of course refuse to marry you if they love you but will YOU marry him/her knowing that you will be left alone very soon? 

this question keeps on popping in my mind over and over again since last two days when my chest pain appeared suddenly.haih.(T___T)

postiteveryday

when it is never meant for you,it will just go wrong in every way.

woke up in pain,cried in class and now,still in pain,i guess my heart just can't make it any longer.

:)

caramel cappucino+river island bag=life is beautiful,isn't it?:)

love!

i guess,my love for bags will never end,hehehehe~

and for whoever my future husband is,just bear with it yea~:p











*in search for a nice wallet,and i guess i found it already in accessorize*:D

post topan,pre pain

for the result i had today,alhamdulillah~for all His blessings,alhamdulillah~

finishing my topan (topography anatomy) exam means no more sufferings as far as the subject itself received everyone's approval as the hardest one ever~hahaha!frankly,i'm on my honeymoon starting from today!yippie!:)))~will be missing prof nikolaev,so much,he's the best teacher ever,and all my respect goes to him,since he taught us with all his heart.

anyhow,on the other side,i'll have to bear separation,again.sigh.it's hard,and when my insecurities strike,i'm just giving up.the bitter fact is i have nothing to offer.for that,i know there's no room for me to complaint.if only i can block my brain from thinking that losing is the only possible thing that will happen,i'll do anything.seriously.mental depression will start soon,and frankly i rather face bundles of topan's notes than getting hurt day by day.sigh.

for tomorrow and the days afterwards,i should start searching for a big supply of happy pills i guess.sigh.(3rd time here)

for acting this way,now and onwards,really am sorry.

.......

iklan,

neway,even mase cm lgsung xcukup kali ni,hadapkan ape sje besok dengan senyuman,

and believe in Him,

yosh!

:)

freezing~haih~

00 truths


1. Last drink : ipoh white coffee

2. Last phone call : adik manis :p

3. Last text message : adik manis :p

4. Last song I listened to : warkah utk ibu-hafiz,akim,aril

5. Last time I cried : 2,3 hari lepas,kl xsilap~hohoho

HAVE YOU EVER 

6. Gotten back with someone I broke up with : aha,yup!

7. Been cheated on : dunno 

8. Kissed someone & regretted it : Nope

9. Lost someone special : tok tokki losong

10. Been depressed : always,emo much?

11. Been drunk and threw up : tett!

THREE FAVE COLORS 

12.pastel blue

13. pastel pink

14. white,cream

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2011) 

15. Made a new friend : Yes.hehe!

16. Fallen out of love : stickin to only one,n hope stays 4ever

17. Laughed until you cried : Always!

18. Met someone who changed me this year : nope

19. Found out who my true friends are : Oh definitely.

20. Found out someone who has just been talking about me : don't care anymore

21. Kissed anyone on Facebook : sorry,so stingy about that~
22. How many of your Quibblo friends do you know in real life : I have no idea what Quibblo is?

23. Eye Color : Dark brown,i think so~

24. Pets : Nope,never i guess

25. Changing name : lovin' mine

26. Last birthday : this year

27. Time I woke up : 10.30 a.m,teehee~

28. At midnight : talked to the phone,n srazu sleep afterwards,daily routine~:)

29. Something I can't wait for : to finish my degree!!n go back home,leave this place!get married and live happily ever after :)

30. Last time I saw my Mother : 5th september 2011
31. One thing I could change : everything

32. Listening to : pokok,meet uncle hussain

33. Talked to a person named Tom : I have non

34. Getting on my nerves : people being mad @me for no reason

35. Most visited web page : Facebook. No argument. 

36. Real name : Nabilah mohamad zawahid

37. Nicknames : bello,bella,bilah,bell~:P

38. Relationship status : looking forward for a real one soon~

39. Zodiac sign : virgo

40. Gender : pompuan gorilla

41. Primary school : sk kg tengah,kuala terengganu n sk tanah putih baru,kuantan

42. Middle school : SMART,SEMESTA

43. High school : SEMESTA

44. Hair color : black.

45. Length : :)

46. Height : 16847. Skin : dark,very instead


48. What do I really like about myself : haha,out of idea :D

49. Piercings : on my ears

50. Tattoos : haram

51. Right or left :~

FIRST: 

52. Surgery : chest 

53. Piercing : my earlobes

54. Bestfriend(s) : timah,dilah!:)

55. Hero : none

56. Love : sorg saje!:). 

57. Heartbreak : The same person that had my first love I guess? ;p

58. Death in the family : tok,tokki
59. Time you got grounded : I can't remember

60. I'm about to : watching 2days1night while reading topan's notes,haha!:p
61. Listening to : pokok

62. Waiting for : a change

63. I'm feeling : cold and sick,haih~

67. Lips or eyes : eyes,of course~

68. Hugs or kisses : hugs. :)

69. Shorter or taller : taller of course.

70. Older or younger : older

71. Romantic or spontaneous : spontaneously romantic

72. Stomach or arms : haha,xpaham?

73. Sensitive or loud : not too sensitive and not too loud

74. A hook-up or relationship : definitely a relationship type of girl

HAVE YOU: 

75. Kissed a stranger : kalau stakat belaga laga pipi tu, yeah..

76. Drank hard liquor : never 

77. Lost glasses or contacts :many times!

78. S_x on first date : never in life

79. Broken someone's heart : i think so,sigh~:(

80. Been arrested : not that I could recall. :p

81. Turned someone down : yeah. and was filled with guilt

82. Cried when someone died : never,hati keras,ish ish.

83. Fallen for a friend : fortunately, yes. :)
DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 

84. Myself : jarang jarang

85 Society : hmm. 

86. Heaven : yes

87. Santa Claus : nope

88. Love : I do

89. Angels : yes

90. God :  of course. hanya satu

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 

91. Had more than one bf at a time : never. never know how.

92. Did I sing today : of course.haha

93. Did something illegal : many times. for instant, langgar traffic light bila lampu merah.,meniru :p

94. Go back in time-- I wish

95. Did you hear the word is love? : xphm?

96. Afraid of falling in love : sll~

97. Last time I lied : lupe -.- 

98. Late, early, or Right on time : always early. better.

99. Give my life for others : if that's what I'm supposed to do, I will

100. Am I afraid to post this : Nope.xd ape pong!:p

a fine evening....

doing what you like is freedom,

liking what you do is happiness...

:)

p/s: gonna have a nice 12hours sleep tonight because the thought of topan's final exam this coming Monday is terrifying enough to make my mind and body work simultaneously towards it yet~let's try it again tomorrow,hohoho!~

до завтра,nyte fellas!salam~

....

changing everything soon,real soon,just can't wait!~

:)

love the third one the most!

well,

awesomeness comes with a great amount of money!hahahaha!

no matter what,I will make sure i'll have something like this for my wedding,no compromise.

(^___^)

*btw,my killer cycle is going to end by this wednesday,wish me luck people!

*and plus,sorry for being emo before

....

you will never have rainbows everyday,when the storm strikes,just prepare for the rain..and go through it..

and mine is today...

p/s: 

*kalau lu xsuke ak ckp ngn lu,sile bgtau ak siap2,and xpyh nk buat stupid faces y annoy spe2 y tengok n bakal makan kasut aku

*sile stop lying to my face,sbb ak rase xlame,ade je org y kene mkn makihamun aku

*and plus to anyone y suke sgt prsn ak emo kt lu,n emo balik psl aku n nk bising kat sume org,toksah nk tuduh manusie len suke hati lu lah kay,ak ade byk mslh lagi nak pk,dr emo ngn ko y xd ketan ngn aku

aku dh penat,sorry aku emo,ak nk ckp dpn2 lu sume,bukan nk dgr kan,ak kn cm smpah sarap tepi jalan,so lantak aku nk ckp kat blog aku..

siyes,3tahun akn datang bakal buat aku gile,emo n jadi manusie xd hati perot,n suke mrh sume org,boleh x cpt habes,aku nak balik malaysia!

14 days to pain~

just before having to face a one month of pain,let's end whatever left,but wait,only if there is anything left.

sorry,i can't endure the heartaches.i'll go crazy eventually.

trust me about that,u can cut all my fingers for that to happen.

the only conclusion; let's have a break.

:)

luahan hati...



anyway,this baby will soon come to mama,once duit jpa masuk!~heee!

*one of the reason why i hate entering accessorize shop,i'll get attached not for one,but many of them!~kuikui~

terkezut~

i was in a dark room,busy browsing the cursor,and having fun of stalking people in fb and suddenly my kakak usrah came out of nowhere and guess what?she brought me a present!for my 3 weeks ago birthday~hehe~

 tadaa~hehe~

being aware that she might offend her *adik usrah yang nakal*with the book which is basically about love in islam,she told me the title of it just before i open it,haha~

despite of the nature of nabilah zawahid, hating motivational sort of books,i'll try my best to finish this one,yosh!

amaran penulis: AWAS! anda mungkin jatuh cinta dgn buku ini!selamat membaca dan menerokai alam cinta.."

derek shepard

derek shepard is simply one of soo many reasons why i love watching greys anatomy.well,he's way too hot and smart to be true.a neurosurgeon,he is and in my own perspective,being someone so freaking awesome in this field really blown me away just because the job itself is already too cool and complex to be master at.

well,let's not proceed about my hot derek,maybe not today hi3~:p~

i'm having these neuro and topan cycles this month,and both i can say the toughest ones for this whole 4th year~huhuhu~and the fact that i just came back from 2 months holiday back in Malaysia made things really hard at the first two weeks here.it was a complete shock and fyi,im having the toughest professor who teaches my topan (he wrote our text book,fuh!~) and because of him,i'm turning into a geek version of mine.huhuk.

but,let's just skip topan,and focus on neuro~the truth is,since the very first time i got to know the surface of this subject, i never fond of it.it's way too complex to understand and my brain just cant process it no matter how many times i read about anything related to it. and the problem just goes the same way this year when i have it as a real subject of the semester.it's a challenge,and as i'm trying to change to be better,i promise myself not to leave this subject without full understanding of everything that i read.well,better said that i'll master you mr NEURO soon,just wait for it!hehehe! *ceh,smgt pulak*~

anyway,pray that i'm not going to get sick of reading books everyday,sincerely,i'm not someone who really loves books or anything related to it.

taking the next step

time flew really fast and I am already 22 years old.it's a huge number, and realizing the meaning behind it makes me fear of the fact that i'm leaving all my childhood memories and behaviours behind.thre's no more room for stupid mistakes,there's no more space for you to keep on neglecting your responsibilities towards yourself and people around you...I came to my senses each time having news of my friends' marriages on fb or etc2...and seeing them having the gut to take one of the biggest decisions ever in their lives at this very young age really amazed me somehow.

well,let's face it,why don't we?

being an adult is definitely not an option.it just a part of life that we must adjust ourselves in and make the best of it.

"And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion. (Ath-thalaq, 65:3)"

*this verse of Quran really helps me to put myself all together to face this horrible month,may He bless all the efforts,ameen"

desire~

angan2 yang x kesampaian~huhuhu~




*separe mati*

gembira(^^,)

dear you,

take my hand and let's face the world together.

cause together, we'll strengthen each other.

and everything is simply possible.

i believe in that.truthfully.

:)

belated.

having a tough cycle for this whole month,really put me in the most stressful state ever,since i never fancy studying like a geek *even though the bitter truth is i'm a medic student*.

feel like a zombie,really,and i cooked nothing for this whole week,and it feels weird at the moment.

sigh.anyway,

yosh for a month of topan and neuro and being a geek zombie!

and oh,it has been almost a week++ since my birthday,so happy belated birthday to me

*i ate not even a single slice of it~kui2~

and the 2nd birthday cake,the best slice ever,thanks to kamu~:)